Let it be shitty.
Even if it is not shitty in the absolute slightest, my friend, let it be so. Because here's what's going to happen. No matter what you start to do, eventually, in the assumption you keep doing that thing, you will get better. You're doing of the thing will get faster, easier, and more intuitive. Elements which may have taken days or months to finish off will take hours or minutes. You will feel confident in your capabilities, by the nature of proving to your own self that you can keep at something long enough to not fall over. Steady progress yields steady results. It's simple math.
But, for the sake of standing in the shoes of the beginner looking down at their hands with a dream, let's say you decide to do something and then in the process of doing that thing for the very first time you think: this is really hard. This doesn't come naturally to me. I feel excited about the idea but now that pen is to paper and the responsibility for this to actually work or turn into something people actually give a sh*t about is on the line, I'm a little bit scared. Why are you scared?
Because. What if it's shitty?
What if everyone who pays attention regrets wasting their time?
What if my grandma texts me that this was a horrible, horrible idea?
What if I get spammed on Instagram because I live a little and put myself out there?
What if my best friends talk about me behind my back?
What if strangers one day meet me and look me in the eye and say how dare you?
What if everyone who pays attention keeps coming back?
What if my aunt shares this on Facebook with pride?
What if I connect with new people because I lived a little and put myself out there?
What if my best friends can't stop raving about it - and call me to tell me that?
What if strangers one day meet me and look me in the eye and say thank you?
BOTH. MINDSETS. SCARE. THE LIVING. DAYLIGHTS OUT OF ME.
And here's why: Regardless of whether I fall on my face or proceed to soar, what I'm starting with will not be what I end up with. And I feel deeply, deeply responsible to make my future self proud. Whether what I produce today - whatever I try for the very first time - wins or loses, I am wrong, today. I did not end up with what I worked on, today. I am starting at ground zero, and this will either end up in a ditch or the penthouse. I loathe the sense of loss. I am also pathologically terrified of not knowing whether the risk of saying yes might actually work out.
Let it be shitty. Proceed knowing fully well - with absolute ! certainty ! - that the journey of which you are proceeding to walk through will result in you, one year later, looking back with a little laugh.
"You had no idea what you were capable of."
Hi! I'm Chloe, a twenty-something writer and communications strategist figuring it out as I go along. I love airplanes, oat lattes, and deep chats over cheap wine.
I hope you leave here inspired to explore the world and love its people, or, keep reading all the things. It's good for you!
Follow along: @chloe.belangia